Hello family! Today is my first day to actually tell you about everything. My district's scheduled p-day is on Fridays, but because we entered the MTC on Wednesday, we were given a half p-day today to do laundry, emails, and letters. I realize I am slow at writing/typing and only am given 30 minutes to write emails. I have so much to say in such little time, but I will do my best!
I'll start off by telling you about my life the moment I said good-bye. The Elders led me to a Sister who helped me do EVERYTHING, drop off my luggage, get my nametag, take my picture, get my books, etc. And finally after running around, she took my to the classroom where my whole district was. I was the last to arrive because I was the last group to arrive. The moment I walked in, this beautiful sister named Hermana Kendell, said "Come sit next to me!" I immediately felt excited and loved. My companions name is Hermana Cochran, she is from Alaska and my complete opposite! She is very nice, but we are just different in many ways. Our personalities, our dress, the way we talk, how much make-up we wear, etc. It all balances out to a good companionship, but I won't lie, it's very hard always having someone with me (and being the same person all time). The other two sisters in our district is Hermana Kendell who I mentioned in the beginning. She is from Ogden and then Hermana Falls is also from Ogden and reminds me a lot of Lydia Peterson. All four of us are going to the Ecuador Guayaquil South mission and have the same plans to go to the Peru MTC. We're excited to come home on the plane together and be able to talk in Spanish. We have 7 Elders in our district (one is a trio companionship) and they are all going to Mexico. 1 is 18 almost 19. 5 are 19. And Elder Beazer is 23, he was baptized a year and a half ago.
The rest of the evening was "go go go", we had classes, new missionary meetings, and teaching practices. Throughout the evening I was constantly reminded of why I am serving a mission. Especially in the teaching practices, I really felt the spirit and was excited all over again to serve a mission. It wasn't until the end of the night when I went to bed that it all hit me. I knew coming into this, that it was going to be hard. But now that I actually know all that is asked me, I became extremely overwhelmed. It was hard to sleep. When I thought about mission stuff, I'd stress out. Then I'd think about stuff from home and get really sad. It was a rough night of sleeping, especially in a new place.
First thing the next morning we had gym. We are given gym time from 635 to 730 and then had class at 815 (which we have to be 10 minutes early to). We are only required to exercise 30 minutes. Of course, I was done after 30 minutes, but my companion wanted to stay the whole time. I got a little frantic that I would not be able to get ready on time. I did have to rush to get ready. Later on, we made a comprise that we'd meet in the middle and go to the gym for 40 minutes.
This day was the hardest for me. I continued to be overwhelmed. I was realizing how much was asked of me and I kept questioning if I could really do it. Before I entered the MTC, I was constantly reminded of my capability to serve a mission by everyone. But the second I entered the MTC, I became like everyone else there. I felt like a small fish in a very big pond. Everyone seemed so strong and every part of me just wanted to sob. And so I did, at lunch time I started to break down. I even went to class, thinking I was ok, but continued to cry. I was so embarassed that I couldn't stop crying.
It was then, in class that I realized how the atonement can work for me right now. Our teacher Brother Avila, taught a lesson on the love Christ has for us. It was there that I could feel the Savior's love and him telling me that I was capable to do everything he has asked of me.
I was still down the rest of the day, but was constantly reminded of my purpose as a missionary. It felt like a rollercoaster, I'd get excited talking about the gospel and learning Spanish and then I felt overwhelmed, like I couldn't do it. At night we met with our branch presidency. There are 3 districts that make up a zone and our zone is our branch. We got to meet one on one with the presidency and I shared with them the feelings I had been having, especially feeling home sick. Brother Gubler reminded me that I was truly meant to be a missionary and then shared a scripture. It was D&C 100:1 (you can read it yourself), but he told me my family would be blessed for the time I am out serving the Lord. Overall, I feel tremendous love from the presidency and their wives and I am so grateful to get to know them better.
Friday was a MUCH better day. I am starting to really LOVE the MTC. I woke up and realized throughout the day how the Lord had strengthen me in my weaknesses. The atonement is real and it works for me and for everyone. It is truly amazing. I am enjoying learning more about the gospel and Spanish. I am loving everyone in my district. The Elders and Hermanas are amazing and we have so much together.
I am left with no more time to write. I miss you all so much. I am home sick, but I know I will be O.K. I love you all tremendously and know we will be blessed for this time a part.
Love Always,
Hermana Taylor Smith
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